Truth is out there . . . . . it's only that it can't be seen

WHAT TOP LEVEL MANAGEMENT SAY - What they really mean
1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
4. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The damn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
5. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
6. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit.
7. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
8. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.
9. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!
10. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.
11. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - It finally worked!
12. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.
13. ITS IN TESTING RIGHT NOW - we have no idea how to do this.
14. WE ARE USING FOCUS GROUPS EXTENSIVELY - Maybe they know how its done.
15. OUR ONLY OPTION IS TO REENGENEER THE PROCESS - How else can we justify firing most of the existing staff without looking like complete idiots
16. SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER - We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
17. SELF-MOTIVATED - Management won't answer questions
18. SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE - ...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.
19. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
20. NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
21. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
22. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

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